Should children attend a funeral?
Published: 05/07/2010 by Funeral Home Resource Team
Children grieve just as adults do. Any child old enough to form a relationship will experience some form of grief when a relationship is severed. When a death occurs, children need to be surrounded by feelings of warmth and love. Caring adults can guide children through this time when the child is experiencing feelings for which they have no words and thus can not identify. In a very real way, this time can be a growth experience for the child, teaching about love and relationships, life and death.
You should explain what is happening and why it is happening at the child’s comprehension level. What a 3 year old understands is much different than what a 12 year old understands. The key is to allow the participation, not to force it. Forced participation can be harmful. Children instinctively have a good sense of how involved they wish to be.
Whether or not the child should attend the funeral should be up to them. Take into consideration their age and how well you feel they will be able to handle the situation. Take the time to explain to them what has happened and let them help make the decision on whether or not they want to attend.
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Should a Child Attend a Funeral?
A Child's Right
Dolores from Philadelphia, Pa - 02/23/2012 00:38:53
Finally, the reality of life and death. children are more intelligent than we give them credit for. Some are more or less mature. My second grade daughter handle the private viewing in the funeral home better than my 55 yo sister. She was a mess. Explain, prepare life and death to your children early it is not taboo. My daughter ran up to her Gammy and kissed and said good bye to her respectfully in a very private setting. We were all there with her and talking to my mother as though she was still there in spirit but not in body. She is now 16 and very well adjusted we still talk about her Gammy and how much her Gammy loved her and we laugh and we cry. We still miss her terribly after nine years and my daughters mind is still fresh as to who and what her gammy was to her. Someone who loved her grand daughter very, very much. As she was loved back by her Gia. My daughter does not fear death nor do I. She learned loss at a very young age. So many dying around her as I had her late in my life. As for my sister she was hyperventilating and acting my daughters' age very disturbing. The funeral director was a hoot. We talked about sad realities, funny truths and he made it real and not scarey at all for everyone. He talked about the day he walked through the embalming room and had not been told his grandmother had passed and his embalmer was mortified that he see this. He looked at him and said it is ok as I deal with this reality every day and Grandmother lived a full and satisfying life. What more can we ask for. And why has no one commented on this site before me? There is nothing to be afraid of this is life....And death.